I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my shit smells like andre
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
