The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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