I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
