i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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