So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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