Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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