the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
