I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
