I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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