I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
