Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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