So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
