I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
