in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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