And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
