Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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