The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
