Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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