just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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