I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
