Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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