so that wasnt chicken after all
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
