They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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