Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pants are for mortals
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
