I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
