Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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