my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
