I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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