Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
