so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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