3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
plz talk dirty to me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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