I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
