Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
