Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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