On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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