these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
