lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
