Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
