we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize