She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
