Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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