If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
