You're so nebulous sometimes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
