Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
