The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize