If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm really busy with my period
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