S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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