I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
