Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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