R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
