im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
