I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize