Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
