he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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