So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We are all done wearing pants today
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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