My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
