The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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