ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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