Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
